Lying in the gutter

Lying in the gutter

Postby ciderman_nz » Tue Jan 24, 2017 9:06 pm

One evening last October, when I was far from sober
And dragging home a load with manly pride
My feet began to stutter and I fell down in the gutter
And a pig came up and parked right by my side

Then I mumbled, "It's fair weather when good comrades get together"
Till a lady passing by was heard to say,
"You can tell a man that boozes by the playmates that he chooses"
Then the pig got up and slowly walked away

I began to scratch the gravel, on my all fours I did travel
I rambled down the road the best I could
When I awoke next morning, just as the day was dawning
I was in a hog pen away out in the woods

Then the hogs began to grumble, I started and I stumbled
I fell right in their midst and there I lay
Then one by one they started, till all the herd departed
Yes, every hog got up and walked away

Now lately I've been thinking that I will quit my drinking
I'm going to leave off whiskey, beer and grog
For there's no consolation, but only aggravation
You can't even find friends with a hog .
Civilisation is a veneer, easily soluble in alcohol.
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Re: Lying in the gutter

Postby Lacemaker » Thu Jan 26, 2017 9:28 am

Loved it, CD. :sunglasses:

Stanley Holloway made a lot of recordings of old poems and monologues which were hilarious. Perhaps we could start a thread of these, not just those by him but of others, too.

My father loved reciting this one to my sister and myself :

One fine day in the middle of the night
Two dead boys* got up to fight [*or men]
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot each other
Part 2a.
One was blind and the other couldn't see
So they chose a dummy for a referee.
A blind man went to see fair play
A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"
[or: And two lame men came to carry them away]
Part 2b.
A paralysed donkey passing by
Kicked the blind man in the eye
Knocked him through a nine inch wall
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all
Part 2c.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
And came to arrest the two dead boys
If you don't believe this story’s true,
Ask the blind man he saw it too!
----------------------------------
Be Crafty
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Re: Lying in the gutter

Postby ciderman_nz » Thu Jan 26, 2017 9:55 am

Excellent Hazel! :mrgreen: I have heard the first part but not the ending!
Civilisation is a veneer, easily soluble in alcohol.
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Re: Lying in the gutter

Postby dita » Thu Jan 26, 2017 11:30 pm

Loved Stanley Holloway and thanks Ciderman xx
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