Oh to be in England.....

Oh to be in England.....

Postby Jann » Sun Apr 01, 2012 10:38 am

Robert Browning (1812 - 1889)


Oh to be in England
Now that April's there,
And whoever wakes in England
Sees, some morning, unaware,
That the lowest boughs and the brushwood sheaf
Round the elm-tree bole are in tiny leaf,
While the chaffinch sings on the orchard bough
In England - now!

And after April, when May follows,
And the whitethroat builds, and all the swallows!
Hark! where my blossomed pear-tree in the hedge
Leans to the field and scatters on the clover
Blossoms and dewdrops - at the bent spray's edge -
That's the wise thrush; he sings each song twice over,
Lest you should think he never could recapture
The first fine careless rapture!
And though the fields look rough with hoary dew,
All will be gay when noontide wakes anew
The buttercups, the little children's dower
- Far brighter than this gaudy melon-flower
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Re: Oh to be in England.....

Postby Monsy » Sun Apr 01, 2012 1:37 pm

Sunday morning!

The streets are awash with urine and vomit, the eejits stagger up and down all night making thon peculiar monkey noises that only bare chested lads with one brain cell can articulate, the motor bikes are roaring by and the scooters are buzzing like angry wasps up and down the Promenade..............

Dogs are tethered outside the chattery shops and whine and bark while the owner rummages for a bargain (has anyone died in this?) Children in prams are wailing as they don't want to be strapped in to their designer push chair while the mother samples the delights of maybe winning 50p or a cuddly toy at the puggies. Or they buy 40 fags for the journey home, and several scratch cards. When the children asks for a sweetie it's a sharp retort of "No, you effing can't! or "Mummy has no pennies left"

The season at the seaside has started...........

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Re: Oh to be in England.....

Postby Skeptik » Sun Apr 01, 2012 2:02 pm

You have my sympathies Mons. Thankfully there are no arcades or mad wasp runways here. The worst of the eeejits arrive for the first weekend of the fair fortninght and yet again realise how bluddy boring it is so are off back up the train track by 7pm. I refuse to imagine the state of the train carriages by the time they get to Weegie Central.

Sadly that weekend usually sees the demise of a couple of those bear chested howler monkeys who think they can loup off the bridges into a few feet of water or try swimming the mouth of the river only to realise too late that the temp of the water and the strength of the current is far more lethal than they imagined in their drunken stupidity.

Glad to hear that the Park Authority is clamping down hard on the Buckfast Barbecues. Nothing worse than walking around the shores only to stumble every 50 metres into a half burned out tree with the remnants of a dozen or so ned kerry oots littered around the place.

Oh to be young again..?
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Re: Oh to be in England.....

Postby Jann » Mon Apr 02, 2012 11:13 am

Pam Ayres

I am a cunnin' vending machine lurkin' in the hall
So you can't kick me delicate parts I'm bolted to the wall.
Come on, drop in your money, don't let's hang about,
I'll do my level best to see you don't get nothing out.

I sees you all approachin', the fagless and the dry,
All fumblin' in your pockets and expectant in the eye.
I might be in your place of work, or on the High Street wall,
Trust in me, in theory, I cater for you all.

Within these windows I provide for every human state,
Hunger, night starvation, and remembering birthdays late.
Just read the information, pop the money in - that's grand,
And I'll see nothing ever drops down in your hand.

I might be in your swimming bath, and you'd come cold and wet,
With a shilling in your hand, some hot soup for to get.
And as you stand in wet anticipation for a sup,
I will dispense the soup, but I will not dispense the cup.

And then it's all-out war, because you lost your half-a-nicker.
Mighty kicks and blows with bricks will make me neon flicker.
But if you bash me up, so I'm removed, me pipes run dry,
There's no way you can win, I'll send me brother by and by.

Once there was friendly ladies, years and years before,
Who stood with giant teapots saying, "What can I do you for?"
They'd hand you all the proper change, and pour your cup of tea,
But they're not economic so.. hard luck! You're stuck with me . :now: :dunno:
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