A Mirrored Thought.

A Mirrored Thought.

Postby Daffyd » Sun Mar 19, 2006 6:29 pm

A Mirrored Thought


Staring past my forlorn image
I fell into my tear filled eyes,
Into pools of mysticism,
pools that hold and hypnotise.
Hypnotic scenes confuse my mind,
reflective thought then angers me,
Heavenly eyes are burning brightly,
yet being so blind I cannot see.
Then dark brown eyes encompass me
and warm me in a loving way
Those soft pools of life's reflection,
watching all I do and say.

Those mirrors of remembrance
those orbs of sheer delight
That gaze with love upon me
and watch over me at night.
At times they are full of sorrow,
expressing deep and lasting pain.
Then in a trice they're twinkling,
they are soft and brown again.
I reach out into that mirrored thought
for one more sweet caress
Causing ripples in my reflections,
loose the image, and find distress.

Even now my eyes are brimming
with tears that are tinged with salt
Windmill thoughts run through my mind,
at who's door lies the fault?
I've traced our life together
from the first day that we met
I've relived each loving moment
and yet and yet and yet,
I cannot find a reason
in any single day
Why God in His infinite mercy
Took my darling wife away.

A sweatheart and a mother
with a soul as pure as snow
Was tortured and disfigured,
it's the "WHY" I want to know.

She was the reason for my being,
the beacon of my day,
Without her I am flotsam,
with a lonely role to play.
Returning to the mirror
and the haggard image there
I note how deep the lines are etched,
the fast receding hair,
The puffiness neath dark rimmed eyes,
the pallor of the skin,
Scars of battles fought and lost,
a fight I could not win.

Exhausted and despondent
my body cries for sleep,
I try and rest my tired frame,
but can only lie and weep.
For lonely is this empty house,
and lonelier still my bed,
Even though I lie wherein
once lay my darling's head.
Even now my eyes are brimming
with tear that are tinged with salt
Windmill thoughts run through my mind,
at who's door lies the fault.
Daffyd
 

Postby dejavou » Sun Mar 19, 2006 6:43 pm

That's very sad Daffyd .... from the heart
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Postby Rowan » Sun Mar 19, 2006 6:54 pm

Very sad Daffyd
Avoid the evil, and it will avoid thee.
Gaelic Proverb

Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit.
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Postby Monika » Sun Mar 19, 2006 7:13 pm

Your poem is very moving, Daffyd.

Grief is a truly dreadful thing to bear, and it is the price we ultimately have to pay for loving.

When in despair, the following poem is a great comfort to many people.

Walk Within You


If I be the first of us to die,
Let grief not long blacken your sky,
Be bold yet modest in your grieving,
There is a change but not a leaving,
For just as death is part of life,
The dead live on forever in the living.
And all the gathered riches of our journey,
The moments shared, the mysteries explored,
The steady layering of intimacy stored,
The things that made us laugh or weep or sing,
The joy of sunlit snow or first unfurling of the spring,
The wordless language of look and touch,
The knowing,
Each giving and each taking,
These are not flowers that fade,
Nor trees that fall and crumble, Nor are they stone,
For even stone cannot the wind and rain withstand
And mighty mountain peaks in time reduce to sand.
What we were, we are.
What we had, we have.
A conjoined past imperishably present.
So when you walk the woods where once we walked together
And scan in vain the dappled bank beside you for my shadow,
Or pause where we always did upon the hill to gaze across the land,
And spotting something, reach by habit for my hand,
And finding none, feel sorrow start to steal upon you,
Be still.
Close your eyes.
Breathe.
Listen for my footfall in your heart.
I am not gone but merely walk within you.
Excerpt from:
"The Smoke Jumper" by Nicholas Evans (The Horse Whisperer)
If at first you don't succeed, sky diving isn't for you!
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Postby Rowan » Sun Mar 19, 2006 11:08 pm

That is lovely Monika.
Avoid the evil, and it will avoid thee.
Gaelic Proverb

Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit.
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Postby Monika » Mon Mar 20, 2006 12:28 am

Yes, Rowan, I think it really beautiful.

I first saw it in Sheila Hancock's autobiography where she wrote about her lovely husband, John Thaw, and she found it really comforting.
If at first you don't succeed, sky diving isn't for you!
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Postby Daffyd » Tue Mar 21, 2006 6:17 pm

Excellent read Monika and a great comforter to those recently bereaved. Time is a great healer, but for some it does so very slowly.

A lot of my poems and writings that you are reading are the product of grief therapy. Now if I didn't let all that grief spill out, then I would be in trouble. Let me see if I can explain........

GRIEF is like the stages of love: first falling in love and being totally preoccupied by your new love, then becoming comfortable as you begin to trust that your love will always be with you. In grief, as when you first fall in love, your heart longs to be with the person who's died. Your desire to touch him or her is overwhelming. Most other parts of your life seem unimportant in comparison. Then slowly, normal life begins to creep back in and you find that your grief no longer demands the high maintenance that it first required. You will have created a special space in your heart where you can carry this departed loved one with you at all times, even as you go about other things.

So you see, there are things to be said and done and the sluice gates of grief are occasionally opened and the pain is allowed to flow out. It is not a question of getting a life, it is more a question of getting on with life. To do that, one must be prepared to talk about ones loss. I do that through my writings and have done for the past seventeen years.

Pay ye no mind to what I say, for it is with words that I do play
A measure to ease a broken heart, a record perhaps 'ere I depart.
A loving work of memory, a patchwork quilt, an anthology?
Daffyd
 

Postby Monika » Tue Mar 21, 2006 10:00 pm

Your words are truly inspirational, Daffyd, and they must be a help to all those who read them after suffering the loss of a loved one.

Therapeutic, not only to you but others too.

Thank you for sharing them.
If at first you don't succeed, sky diving isn't for you!
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Postby Rowan » Tue Mar 21, 2006 10:06 pm

Something like that can help let the tears flow and nothing heals better than tears.
Avoid the evil, and it will avoid thee.
Gaelic Proverb

Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit.
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