I entered 10 of my best jokes into a joke competition. Sadly no pun in ten did.

I rang BT and said, I want to report a nuisance caller. He said, 'Not you again'

Did you hear about the semicolon that broke the law? He was given two consecutive sentences

I own the world's worst Thesaurus.....Not only is it awful, it's awful

Thanks also goes to Mr. and Mrs Knutt and their daughter Hazel, of Walnut Tree.

Velcro.....what a rip off.

Don't you hate it when someone answers their own question. I do.

It was not Donald's day, he got pulled over by a motorway policeman who walked over to his car and tapped on the window. Donald looked at the policeman and said I'll be with you in a minute, can't you see I'm on the telephone.

cheers Penny

I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.

“I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, ‘that’s Abba-riginal.'”

“I’ve decided to sell my Hoover – it was just collecting dust.”

I love those Monica. More anybody? cheers Penny

hee hee! they are both good, must get mi thinking cap on.

I quit my job on the oil rig. It was boring.

good one Andere. cheers Penny