Doctor,..... you have been very badly injured in an accident. Please tell me your name so I can inform your wife.
Seamus.... There's no need to. My wife already knows my name.

Have your heard about the chappie who opened a topless restaurant.
It had no roof.

Jim and Joe were out driving together.
..'..are we getting near a town? asked Jim, We must be replied Joe because we seem to be knocking down more people.
Well drive slower said Jim. What do you mean drive slower, said Joe you're driving aren;t you?

cheers Penny