The Best Mum in the World

[Monika]

It was Mum's funeral on Friday and, like everyone else's Mum, she was "the best Mum in the world".

They all are - and they all have the best kids in the world too - it's a fact of life!

The vicar was absolutely marvellous; everybody said so. He went to my sister's house on Wednesday evening and I sent him an email telling him about Mum's life and, between us, we gave him enough information to draw on to paint a canvas that left the mourners in no doubt of who the funeral was for (so many times you attend one and find yourself no wiser about the person concerned)

I'm at an age when I really can't wish any moment of my life away - but - boy does it hurt, this grieving business and, now when I'm not crying so much, every now and again I suddenly find this overwhelming, black dog of despair and sadness engulfing me; it kind of comes over me in short waves. I don't even have to be thinking of her when it happens.

My youngest son has just sent me the following:

I think it is really beautiful.

What is dying?
I am standing on the sea shore.
A ship sails and spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the ocean.
She is an object of beauty and I stand watching her until at last she fades on the horizon, and someone at my side says, "She is gone",
Gone where?
Gone from my sight, that is all;
She is just as large in the masts, hull and spars as she was when I saw her,
and just as able to bear her load of living freight to its destination.
The diminished size and total loss of sight is in me, not in her,
and just at the moment when someone at my side says, "She is gone", there are others who are watching her coming,
and other voices take a glad shout "There she comes",
And that is dying.

[Rowan]

That is beautiful Monika. What a lovely son you have to find this for you.

[dita]

So lovely Monika, How proud you must feel.

[Lacemaker]

That was lovely, Monika - so sensitive.

[mazzy]

I'm so glad that the vicar took time for you. I think it does help if the funeral is a bit special.
I had nothing to do with planning my mother's funeral. She was living with my brother at the time. It was a total shambles, and I was so angry on Mum's behalf. Just not what she would have wanted.

I loved the verse - gives a lovely visual image.

[Dragon Lady]

I know exactly what you are going through Monika. The grief never leaves you but it does get easier with time. We all shed a little tear for our Mums at times - even years later.

Take your time over grieving and then get on with the rest of your life. It is what your Mum would want for you.

[Rowan]

Funny how when something good happens to you, you want to tell your mum. I wish I had more time with my mum, I felt I was just beginning to understand her when she died. It's thirty years since my mum died and I still miss her and she has missed so much of her children, like grandchildren and her daughter and granddaughters getting degrees - she would have been so proud of us all.

[Rowan]

It would have been her 78th birthday today too.

[jollyjack]

Was fortunate to have my mum till she was 80 she had a good life but 15 years later I still think, "must tell mum that" she would have been proud to see her grandchildren had all turned out so well.
Treasure your memories Monika, a girl's best friend is her mum.

[dita]

I talk to my Mum all the time, the years go by and I get older, hopefully one day we will be able to chat to our hearts content.

[Liz]

Monika, you must have a really thoughtful son for him to have sent you that.
It is a terrilbe thing when a mother or father dies.
I can't explain how I felt. My father died 27 years ago and my mother died 17 years ago, and I am the same as Rowan. The times I have thought oh I must tell mum, or other times I have wished she was here to talk things over with.

Will be thinking of you as I also know the pain you are going through.

[Vince]

Lovely thought Monica - you must feel very proud.