"Right" says Monsy to Deja, putting down her fur sammige "stop picking the cockroach legs out of your teeth and listen here to me" As Monsy had that wee gleam of malice in her eye Deja immediately put down her bestest Stanley knife and paid attention. "Us laydeez here at Rowan's hivny had a worthwhile adventure for ages, and seeing as we eat all those things anyway, and we don't wash, how's about we go and join thon celebrities in the jungle?
Deja was a bit miffed about the "don't wash" bit, as she had axiderdently got some splashes on her when she was trying to clean the scabies off Himself with some Hyrochloric acid, and had quickly doused herself in the washing up water, still sitting there from the day before, as Himself hadn't emptied it again....she was bliddy furious when she realised the chip pan was still in there.........
"Who could we get to come with us?" said Deja. Monsy had thought about this very carefully in her usual slapdash way." We can fix some sickles to Rowan's mobility scooter, and attach some carts at the back. A bit like a train, see? "Are you Welsh" said Deja cheekily, but she soon shut up when she saw Monsy's brown check slipper burst off her foot as her leg went purple and doubled in size. "We can load all our supplies into the back and Rowan can drive her way through the jungle. We can follow her with cammyflage all over ourselves. Then we suddenly appear".........
We had better send for VM, when he's finished bleaching the dunny, he'll come in right handy for all the cooking and stuff.
"What about the rest of the laydeez?" said Deja, but she was too late, Monsy was outside shouting for Stephen. After a few minutes a monstrous bird appeared. On his head was a jet black wig and he was wearing a leather coat. "Stephen doll" says Monsy, "now you are no longer appearing on that programme where you are pretending to be a polis in America, I have a wee task for you" Stephen, who adored Monsy to the point of disbelief, instantly went in search of all his henchmen, his heart fair bursting at the thought of all the goodies to be found rooting in his beloved's bestest cardigan.
In the air over Britain, satellite viewers were outraged when huge flocks of seagulls appeared and merged into one enormous being, making straight for the Rowan Tree..........