Christmas Cracker Jokes

[Victors Mate]

How about a thread devoted to Christmas Cracker Jokes? You know the ones that really make you .

A couple to start with

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia


What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!

[dejavou]

I'm away thinking ........

[dejavou]

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson!

What's worse than Rudolph with a runny nose?
Frosty the snowman with a hot flush!

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy!

BOOM .... BOOM

[Penny]

Where do dressmakers live.
On the outskirts.
Penny

[Victors Mate]

What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments!

Why did the Rudolph cross the road?
Because he was tied to the chicken!

What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk?
Jingle Smells!

[Rowan]

[Anya]

How do you tell a snow woman from a snowman?

'sno balls

[rocky]

How do you tell a snow woman from a snowman?

'sno balls

[font=Verdana]Now you got me! I have to pass this on.[/font]

[dejavou]

What is Tiger Woods' wife getting for Christmas?
Half of everything.
THAT'LL MAKE HIM

How many ears has Captain Kirk got?
Three: the left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear.


What's round and bad tempered?
A vicious circle

[Victors Mate]

What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!


What do sheep say at Christmas?
Wool-tide Bleatings!


What athlete is warmest in winter?
A long jumper!