I had a thought that possibly we could introduce an area called "Watershed" were people could post items that are slightly rude but inoffensive, Just to avoid upsetting people. Such as;-



RETIREMENT BONUS

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early
retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.


The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.


The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.


The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.'


It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,
explaining about the nice big checks the previous two Officers had received.
But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.


The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are your testicles?'


The old Chief calmly replied,
'Vietnam'.

Actually not a bad idea - then people who thunk they would be offended can just not look - anyone else in favour of the idea?

I think it is a good idea - but I am picking it is the first place most of us will visit

Yes, probably!!

I assume that was a taster of things to come ......... seems like a good idea

This should be in the Watershed.


Gordon Brown today announced that they are changing our Union Jack to a Condom because its more accurately reflects the government’s political stance.

A Aondom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch or pricks and give you a sense of security - while you are actually being screwed.

Vince wrote:This should be in the Watershed.


Gordon Brown today announced that they are changing our Union Jack to a Condom because its more accurately reflects the government’s political stance.

A Aondom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch or pricks and give you a sense of security - while you are actually being screwed.

Nice one, Vince!

Very brave man jokes

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Television
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman

How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.

What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.

Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
Because they don't have balls to scratch.

Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care.

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she's been told twice already.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None, it should be opened when she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer
to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course, he'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told

I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%..
It's called a Wedding Cake.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

Women will never be equal to men..
Until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Wicked!!

We've got a new weather girl.

Is that whether ( weather ) or not they will fall out Vince?

Maywalk wrote:Is that whether ( weather ) or not they will fall out Vince?

Weather girl Carol Kirkwood.

Don't know about the proposed title ! I think "Naughty stuff' or "Rude Items" would be better.