Sleeping with your dog.

[Emm]

Sleeping with a Dog....

The first thing you discover when you bring a dog onto your bed is
the striking weight difference between an alert, awake dog and a dog
at rest.
Rule #1: The deeper the sleep, the heavier the dog.
Most people who sleep with dogs develop spinal deformities rather
than rent the heavy equipment necessary to move their snoring
canines to a more appropriate part of the bed. Cunning canines
steal precious space in tiny increments until they have achieved the
center position on the bed with all covers carefully tucked under
them for safekeeping. The stretch and roll method is very effective
in gaining territory. Less subtle tactics are sometimes preferred.
A jealous dog can worm his way between a couple and, with the proper
spring action from all four legs, shove a sleeping human to the
floor!
Rule #2: The deeper the sleep, the louder the dog.
As you cling to the edge, wishing you had covers, your sweet pup
begins to snore at a volume you would not have thought possible.
Once that happens, your bed becomes a battlefield and playground of
canine fantasy. It starts out with a bit of "sleep running", lots of
eye movement and then suddenly, a shrieking howl blasting through
the night like a banshee wail. The horror of this wake-up call
haunts you for years. It's particularly devastating when your pup
insists on sleeping curled around your head like a demented Daniel
Boone cap. Night creeps on and you fall asleep in the 3 inches of
bed not claimed by a dog. The dog dreams quiet slightly, and the
heap of dog flesh sleeps, breathing heavily and passing wind.
Rule #3: When the dog wakes, you wake.
Too soon, it's dawn and the heap stirs. Each dog has a distinctive
and unpleasant method of waking the pack. One may position itself
centimeters from a face and stare until you wake. Others romp all
over your sleeping bodies. Passing gas is a never fail wake-up call.
The clever dog obtains excellent results by simply sneezing on your
face. Equally effective is the ever-loving insertion of a tongue in
an unsuspecting ear.

So, why do we put up with this? There's no sane reason. Perhaps it's
just that we're a pack and a pack heaps together at night -- safe,
contented, heavy, and loud!

[DaisyB]

There's nothing like being woken with a cold, wet nose being thrust under the duvet. Or a wet lick on the nose or in the ear. Don't we just love 'em?

[Rowan]

[Emm]

When I had my caravan, I had three dogs in bed with me.
Fine in the winter when it was cold - but blimey - in the summer - I was about melting!!!

[widget]

When I look after my daughter dogs they sometimes stay overnight, Zeta the eldest always comes on my bed, she is on it and in it, it looks odd in the morning when I vacuum the bed before I make it,

[Emm]

When I was a dog groomer, I nearly died of shock once. I had to go to a house to trim a big Airdale.
The woman said the only place the dog would behave himself - was on her bed.

It's true folks - I had to trim the dog while he stood on the bed!!!!!

Even I am not that daft with my dogs.

[DaisyB]

Did you groom any standard poodles Emm? I used to do my own, I was taught by the breeder. Oooh the blisters when I finished. And doesn't the clipped fur get everywhere?

[Emm]

Yes, I did. There were never many about though - not a popular size - don't know why.
Actually, I always cleared dog fur into a bin as I went along, so there wasn't any mess.
I went to a woman once, and she asked me where my hoover was. I told her that I didn't have one. She said that the woman who used to do her dog, always brought her own hoover. I said to her that I didn't make any mess.
And I was determined not to. Fortunately, the dog stood still - and not one piece of fur went on the floor.


I went to a really scruffy house once, and I asked the young man there, if he had a bin to put the hair in - meaning a litter bin.
He went outside and put the dustbin down next to the table!!!!!