1. Blaming your farts on me...not funny....not very funny at all.

2. Yelling at me for barking....I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG YOU IDIOT!

3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out.
Exactly whose walk is it anyway?

4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose....stop it!

5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why
we chew your stuff up when you are not at home.

6. The slight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a
dog! What a proud and great moment for the top of the
food chain....you nitwit.

7. Taking me to the vet for the 'Big Snip', then
acting surprised when I freak out every time we go
back there.

8. Getting upset when I sniff your guests crotches.
Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered the handshake
thing yet.

9. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur? Idiot!

10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we
both know the truth, you're just jealous.

11. And if you think I'm walking out in that rain, think on.

Oh very apt today up here Daisy - that Max stood at the door looked out and point blank refused tostep outside!!