Gumped

[Polter60]

This one did the rounds a while back, got it this morning, and it's still worth a look.



The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump died, and goes to Heaven. He is
at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are
closed, and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper.

St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We
have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is
filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination
for
everyone.

The test is short, but you have to pass it, before you can get into
Heaven."


Forrest responds, "It shor is good, to be here, St. Peter, sir.

But nobody ever told me, about any entrance exam.

I shor hope that the Test ain't too hard, life was a big enough test,
as it was."

St. Peter continued to say, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only
three questions.

First: What two days of the week,! begins with the letter T?

Second: How many seconds, are there, in a year?

Third: What is God's first name?"

Forrest leaves to think the questions over.

He returns the next day, and sees St Peter, who waved him up, and said,
"Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me
your
answers."

Forrest replied, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week,
begins with the letter "T"?
Shucks, that one is easy. That would be, Today and Tomorrow."

The Saint's eyes opened wide, and he exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not
what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess, I did not
specify,
so I will give you credit, for that answer.

How about the next one?" asked St. Peter. "How many seconds in a year?
Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, but I thunk, and thunk, about
that, and I guess the only answer, can be twelve.

" Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve? T! welve? How in Heaven's name
could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?" Forrest replied,
"Shucks,
there is got to be twelve:
January 2nd,
February 2nd,
March 2nd ."

"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you are going with this,
and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in
mind.....
but I will have to give you credit, for that one, too.

Let us go on, with the third, and final question.

Can you tell me God's first name"?

"Sure", Forrest replied, "its Andy."

Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated, and frustrated St. Peter.

"Ok, I can understand, how you came up, with your answers to my first
two questions, but just how in the world, did you come up with, the
name
Andy, as the first name of God?"

"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt
it from the song.
"ANDY WALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TELLS ME, I AM HIS OWN.

" St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: "Run Forrest, run."

[Rowan]

[Monsy]