Banister of Life.

Jokes and funny stories

Banister of Life.

Postby Maywalk » Sun Aug 27, 2006 10:23 am

As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember .....


1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.


4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.


6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.


8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.


10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."

11. I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.


12. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."

13. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.


So ... as we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way!
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Postby Rowan » Sun Aug 27, 2006 10:27 am

:roflmao: :roflmao:
Avoid the evil, and it will avoid thee.
Gaelic Proverb

Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit.
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Postby dejavou » Sun Aug 27, 2006 10:29 am

Number 8 ..... how true :tantrum2:
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Postby Josieclick » Sun Aug 27, 2006 10:51 am

And some Maisie. :banana: :banana: :roflmao:
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Postby Monsy » Sun Aug 27, 2006 11:16 am

:roflmao: :roflmao:
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Postby Monika » Sun Aug 27, 2006 9:38 pm

Loved it !

:bouncie:
If at first you don't succeed, sky diving isn't for you!
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Postby Anya » Mon Aug 28, 2006 7:03 am

Banister of life?

I often feel that I am sliding down the razor blade of life.
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Postby Rowan » Mon Aug 28, 2006 8:48 am

:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
Avoid the evil, and it will avoid thee.
Gaelic Proverb

Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit.
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Postby dejavou » Mon Aug 28, 2006 9:17 am

Anya wrote:Banister of life?

I often feel that I am sliding down the razor blade of life.


Ahah Anya ..... It's you I keep bumping into? :rolleye11:
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Postby twinsmum » Mon Aug 28, 2006 6:35 pm

:bouncie: :clapper:
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