The answer's in the Ad

Jokes and funny stories

The answer's in the Ad

Postby dejavou » Thu Aug 31, 2006 4:27 pm

A Mother had 3 virgin daughters.

They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.

The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but: "Nescafe"!

Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar.

It said: "Good till the last drop”.

Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.


The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Rothmans"

Mom now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the pack: "Extra Long. King Size"

She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.


The third girl left for her honeymoon in Cape Town. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived.

Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words "South African Airways"

Mom took out her latest YOU magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for SAA.

The ad said: "Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways."

Mom fainted!
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Postby Anya » Thu Aug 31, 2006 5:54 pm

:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

In the ad

Reminds me of the new bride, whose young husband died, in a tragic accident.

She cried every day and spoke to the loved one in the sky - Bobby, there will be nobody else but you in my life. Nobody shall ever take your place, in my heart and in my bed. Never, never, never !!!!

Every day she cried and spoke to the loved one in the sky - Bobby, I love you so, my only one, there will never be another in your place. Never, never, never, never !!!!

One day, a handsome, wealthy young man began to court her but she refused all his advances, indignantly.

Many months went by and the patient young man continued to seek a tryst and to plight his troth.

Eventually, the young woman's mother convinced her to go out with the patient young man, at least once and she agreed.

She spoke to the loved one in the sky and said - Bobby, I am going out on a date, just to shut my mother up but there will never be anyone in your place. Never, never, never, never !!!!!!

The young man proposed and the mother was so determined and the young woman felt forced into marriage, against her will.

In the honeymoon suite, on Niagara Falls, the young woman went outside onto the balcony and spoke to the loved one in the sky - Bobby, I am forced to go along with this sham marriage and he is a kind young man but nobody shall ever take your place. Never, never, never, never !!!!

The following morning, she tottered out onto the balcony, looking dishevveled and bemused, looked up to the sky and said - Bobby ?! Piss off !!!!!!
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Postby dejavou » Thu Aug 31, 2006 7:03 pm

:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :rolleye11:
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Postby Monsy » Thu Aug 31, 2006 7:09 pm

:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
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Postby Rowan » Thu Aug 31, 2006 8:39 pm

:roflmao: :roflmao:
Avoid the evil, and it will avoid thee.
Gaelic Proverb

Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit.
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