Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
The gleam in your eye is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
You feel like the morning after and you didn't have a night before.
A dripping tap causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.
You get winded playing cards.
Your children begin to look middle aged.
You join a health club and you don't go.
You know all the answers but nobody asks the questions.
You look forward to a dull evening.
You need glasses to find your glasses.
You turn out the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.
You sit in a rocking chair and you can't get it going.
You sink your teeth in a steak and they stay there.
Your back goes out more than you do.
You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine chest.
Your knees buckle, but your belt won't.
You look for something well built with nice legs and it's furniture.
You talk louder because everyone else seems to be talking so quietly.