1st man, do you have running water in the house.
2nd man, we used to have but we had the roof fixed a few years ago.
Customer. do you have long nails.
assistant. Yes, how long do you want them?
Cutomer. I want to keep them.
1st man. Into a pet shop. I want a new mirror for my budgie.
Assistant. Do you want a small one or a large one.?
I don't rightly know. Assistant, why don't you bring him in the shop and try him out in front of a few mirors and see which one he likes best.
That would never do, it's for his birthday and I want it to be a surprise.
A TELEPHONE CONVERSATION.
Is that Dublin double two, double three, double two.
No, this is Dublin two two, three three, two two.
Oh, wrong number, sorry to disturb you.
Don't be worrying, sure the phone was ringing and I had to answer it anyway.
A chappie opened a topless restaurant,
It had no roof.
Customer. A bottle of sauce please.
Assistant, would you like H.P.
No thanks, I'll be paying cash.
cheers Penny.