Friday 13th virus

[dabthoms]

Beware Of The Friday 13th Virus


It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice
cream goes melty.


It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, screw up the
tracking on your television and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any
CDs you try to play.


It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number.


It will drink all your beer and leave dirty socks on the coffee table when
company comes over.


It will put a dead aardvark in the back pocket of your good suit pants and
hide your car keys when you are late for work.


Friday 13th Virus will make you fall in love with a penguin.


It will give you nightmares about circus midgets.


It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it.


It will leave libidinous messages on your boss's voice mail in your voice!


It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is
also a rather interesting shade of mauve.


Friday 13th Virus will give you Dutch Elm disease.


It will leave the toilet seat up.


Friday 13th Virus will cause your cakes to fall and your blood pressure to
rise.


It will increase the ability of your radio to pick up reactionary talk
stations at the expense of others.


It prevents scurvy, but it gives you mega garlic breath as it does so, which
makes the net results negative.


It cheats at Scrabble.

[dejavou]

And no doubt more