Famous Sexy Quotes

Jokes and funny stories

Famous Sexy Quotes

Postby DaisyB » Thu Nov 02, 2006 11:32 am

'Famous Sexy quotes'....

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." Woody Allen


"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
Rodney Dangerfield


"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual
arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
Lynn Lavner


"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
Camille Paglia


"Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
George Burns


"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."
Sharon Stone


"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
Tiger Woods


"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
Jack Nicholson



" Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humour)


"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
Robin Williams


"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
Billy Crystal


"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
Dustin Hoffman


"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think; - "I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'."
Jerry Seinfeld

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
Robin Williams


" It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom."
Joan Rivers


" Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy."
Steve Martin


" You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
Elmo Phillips


" Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
Oscar Wilde


" It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married"
George Burns
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Postby Daff » Thu Nov 02, 2006 2:27 pm

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"In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer."
Albert Camus
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Postby Rowan » Thu Nov 02, 2006 7:19 pm

:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
Avoid the evil, and it will avoid thee.
Gaelic Proverb

Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit.
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Postby Monsy » Fri Nov 03, 2006 10:13 am

:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
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Postby Monsy » Fri Nov 03, 2006 10:23 am

:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
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Postby dejavou » Fri Nov 03, 2006 5:07 pm

:groaner: :roflmao: :roflmao:
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Postby Anya » Mon Nov 06, 2006 8:00 am

Somebody said years ago that sex at ninety was like trying to push a marshmallow through a letter box
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Postby Rowan » Mon Nov 06, 2006 9:33 am

:roflmao:
Avoid the evil, and it will avoid thee.
Gaelic Proverb

Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit.
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Postby Victors Mate » Mon Nov 06, 2006 4:32 pm

:bouncie:

The ones I understood were very funny June
:rolleye11:
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