Technical support

[Penny]

> Dear Tech Support:

>

> Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a

>

> Distinct slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the Flower

>

> And jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

>

> In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such

>

> As Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable

>

> Programs such as: Rugby 5.0, Football 4.3 and Cricket 3.0. Conversation

>

> 8.0 no longer runs; it simply crashes the system. I've tried running

>

> Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?

> Signed,



> Desperate







Dear Desperate:

>

> First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while

>

> Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

>

>> Try entering the command: C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME to download Tears

>>

> 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0.

>>

> If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then

>>

> Automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But

>

>> Remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to

>

>> Default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

>>

> WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly.

>

>> CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law. This is not a

>

>> Supported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

>

>> In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited

>

>> Memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider

> buying Additional software to improve memory and performance. I

personally

>> Recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

>

>> Good Luck, Tech Support


cheers Penny,

[Rowan]

[dejavou]

Very clever (and very true)