Churches

[dejavou]

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world.

He bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando , thinking that he would start by working his way across the USA from South to North .

On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '$10,000 per call' .
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The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for .
The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God .

The American thanked the priest and went along his way .

Next stop was in Atlanta . There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same looking golden telephone with the same sign under it.

He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was .

She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God .

'O.K., thank you,' said the American .

He then travelled all across America , Africa, England, Japan , New Zealand . In every church he saw the same looking golden telephone with the same '$US10,000 per call' sign under it. .

The American decided to travel to Yorkshire to see if they had the same phone .

He arrived in York and in the York Minster as he entered, there was the same looking golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read '40 pence per call.'

The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign .

'Father, I've travelled all over the world and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches . I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in all of them price was $10,000 per call . Why is it so cheap here?'

The priest smiled and answered, 'You're in Yorkshire now, son - it's a local call' .

[Rowan]

[DaisyB]

[DaisyB]

JOKES THAT CAN BE TOLD IN CHURCH

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, 'Why is the bride dressed in white?''
The mother replied, 'Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.'
The child thought about this for a moment then said, 'So why is the groom wearing black?'
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A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran
she prayed, 'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!'
While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She
got up, brushed herself off, and started running again! As she ran she once again began to pray, 'Dear Lord, please don't
let me be late... But please don't shove me either!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words on a
piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.'
The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him
$100.'
The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it
takes eight people to collect all the money!'
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An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten
instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, 'They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them
to take me out when I'm dead.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~

A police recruit was asked during the exam, 'What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?'
He answered, 'Call for backup.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
A small child replied, 'They couldn't get a baby-sitter.'
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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to 'Honor thy father and thy mother,' she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat
our brothers and sisters?' Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'
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At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed
especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, 'Johnny, what is the matter?'
Little Johnny responded, 'I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other,
'What do you think about all this Satan stuff?'
The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad.'

[Rowan]

[dejavou]