Paddy.

[Maywalk]

Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight. The operator asks "How many people are flying with you?" Paddy replies "I don't know! It's your plane!!"

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Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night. She undresses & lies on the bed spread-eagled & says "You know what I want don't you?" "Yeah," says Paddy. "The whole damn bed by the looks of it!"

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Paddy the electrician got sacked from the U.S. prison service for not servicing the electric chair. He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap!

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Paddy's chat up lines:

. You might not be the best looking girl in here, but beauty is only a light switch away!

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Paddy, the Irish boyfriend of the woman whose head was found on Arbroath beach was asked to identify her. A detective HELD up the head to which point Paddy said "I don't think that's her, she wasn't that tall!"
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Paddy & his wife are lying in bed and the neighbours' dog is barking like mad in the garden. Paddy says "To hell with this!" and storms off. He comes back upstairs 5 minutes later & his wife asks "What did you do?" Paddy replies "I've put the dog in our garden, let's see how they like it!"

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Paddy is said to be shocked at finding out all his cows have Bluetongue. "Be Jaysus!" he said, "I didn't even know they had mobile phones!"
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Mick & Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery. Mick says "Crikey! There's a bloke here who was 152!" Paddy says "What's his name?" Mick replies "Miles from London !"

[dita]

Its ow yu tell em!

[Rowan]