Flight attendants speeches,

[Penny]

REAL STORIES REPORTED BY FLIGHT CREWS


A flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing:
"We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces
us to the terminal."

Another flight Attendant after a particularly bumpy flight:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo . Please remain in your
seats with your seatbelts fastened while the Captain taxis what's
left of our airplane to the gate!"

"As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings.
Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants.
Please do not leave children or spouses."

"We are please to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry...
Unfortunately none of them are on this flight...!"

"This aircraft is equipped with a video surveillance system that monitors the
cabin during taxiing. Any passengers not remaining in their seats until the
aircraft comes to a full and complete stop at the gate will be strip-searched
as they leave the aircraft."

"Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the
seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside
the plane till we land... it's a bit cold outside"

"Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught smoking in the lavatories
will be asked to leave the plane immediately."

"Your seat cushions can be used for floatation, and in the event of an emergency water
landing, please take them with our compliments."

"As we prepare for takeoff, please make sure your tray tables and seat backs are fully
upright in their most uncomfortable position."

"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."

[dita]

[Rowan]