Some Yorkshire Jokes - new to me

[DaisyB]

Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom ?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it wi' us."

***

A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone, yer daft begger!"

***
A Yorkshireman's wife dies and the widower decides that her headstone should have the words "She were Thine" engraved on it.
He calls the stone mason, who assures him that the headstone will be ready a few days after the funeral. True to his word the stone mason calls the widower to say that the headstone is ready and would he like to come and have a look.
When the widower gets there he takes one look at the stone to see that it's been engraved "She were Thin".
He explodes - good grief, man, you've left the flamin' "e" out!
The stone mason apologises and assures the poor widower that it will be rectified the following morning.
Next day comes and the widower returns to the stone mason - "There you go sir, I've put the "e" on the stone for you"..
The widower looks at the stone and then reads out aloud - "E, She were Thin".

***

Bloke from Barnsley with a sore backside asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?"
Chemist replies "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?"

[dejavou]

[Rowan]

Brilliant!!

[dita]

[mo]

Love em June.

[Monika]

I was once laid up in bed with a slipped disc and could hardly bear to breathe, let alone laugh.

I was watching Larry Grayson on "The Generation Game" and a young Yorkshire lad came on; LG asked him about training his dog to do something unusual.

"Aye", said the lad. " I've gor a coal feyer and, one dee , a lump o coal fell ont'carpit and bunt ole in'tcarpit

Ah couldn't afford new carpit, so every teem somebody came t'thouse, I treyned t'dog to lay on thole in't carpit."

Brian ran upstairs, rushed into the bedroom thinking I was crying with all the pain to find me shaking with laughter. Yes - that was quite painful too, I might add!

[Rowan]