That makes me feel sad for you, Laurie, and you have my deepest sympathy. The only thing in its favour is that it is all the natural process of bereavement which is helping you to heal so that, later on, you will be able to enjoy some of your memories and be able to smile at them.
The awful thing though is that these moments will never completely fade away and you will feel this same sadness now and again and, when it does, it is heartbreaking.
Stay strong