by vannin » Fri Jun 12, 2020 6:16 pm
Dita, I understand, and as you are using this time to get well, that is of most importance, much more than coming and going for the sake of being outside for a bit. Although the sun and air aid recovery too.
My husband was a very private man too and often failed to tell me all he had been told at the hospital because I would have worried. He was also kindness itself and asked my mother to live with us soon after we married. (Not because I would have suggested it because I knew her instability would not be healed and we were no longer close) But she thought the world of him and they always 'got on' together so she was with us for the first eight years of marriage and our two children's births and early years.
Before her moving-in, at age 48, she had been in countless residential jobs since my father's death from TB in 1951. She sank into a deep melancholy which is why she shunted me off to boarding school that year for nine years - four different convents in Ireland and here, all my holidays spent with her parents on their Irish farm (my Paradise) So I hardly ever saw her when growing up.
Anyway she succeeded in her last overdose suicide attempt in 1973, age 56, when she had mourned him for 22 years. My OH found her, not here but in a council flat she had recently acquired after many years on the waiting list. We had two small children to shield and his experience on that day was probably the first damaging effect on his heart. So though I had not been her carer as such, we were all fragile.
Two or three members of Seniority, when there were threads about our earlier lives, had the gist of it.
I would not go into such history except to show how I knew about mental illness in close family. When people say we must move on and then there are more deaths, moving-on may take forever but we TRY! I think of you every day and am fully with you as you strive to get well. Lots of love to you and Dolly from Trixie and me xx. I am about to launch into a much shorter post about a minor breakthrough with Trixe.
Last edited by
vannin on Fri Jun 12, 2020 6:44 pm, edited 3 times in total.